*cough*

It's not that I haven't thought about updating the site. It's just that not a lot is going on. Tomorrow I'll write up a long post. Time is running out. Two weeks left. The summer is coming to a close.

No Place Like It

The last night I found myself thinking about 'home'. What is 'home'? Where is 'home'? Do I fall more into the belief that "home is where the heart is" or "home is where you hang your hat"? Am I just using the word incorrectly at times?

 

Being in the military, it is pretty much guaranteed if you are chatting with someone the question of "so where's home?" is bound to come up. That answer is always Binghamton. That's my 'home' in that answer. I was born and raised there. I lived there until I was 19 and enlisted. In my military records it's my 'home of record'. My friends and family are all there. That is definitely where my heart is. 

 

In a few hours when day shift shows up I'm gonna say "I'm going home". That doesn't mean I'm going to Binghamton though... I'm going back to my hotel. I have no attachment to the place. It's where I sleep while I'm in Ferrara. It's where I hang my hat.

 

That's what has me thinking, can they both be home? In a way I feel like I'm cheating my memories and feelings for Binghamton when I also call my hotel room the same thing. One I get very homesick for. I dream of it and long for it. The other is where I do my dreaming. There isn't confusion when I tell my co-workers I'm going home. They know I'm not about to board a plane for NY. However if someone asks me where home is and I say "the Carlton" they are either going to be completely confused or think I misunderstood their question.

 

I'm thinking no, they cannot both be home. They might share a word but the meaning and feeling behind that word is completely different. I'll still use the word in both ways but for me there's only one home and that will always be where my heart is. Besides, I hate hats.

Apartment Swap

I learned something tonight... I shouldn't wait until I'm 11 hours into a night shift to try and start writing something. Especially on a day where I've had little sleep. I end up being rambly and not very focused on a point. No one wants to read that. Well... maybe you do for an amusement factor but trust me, it wasn't that entertaining.

 

My lack of sleep is a result of my mid-afternoon move to a new apartment. When I was extended here last month I was not able to also extend my reservation in the apartment I've been living in. I very luckily was able to slide into a different apartment run by the hotel I've been staying at since I arrived in Ferrara. Barring another extension in Ferrara (which is in the realm of possibility) this'll be my third and final move before my return to Hellas.

 

Today/tomorrow... is my last night shift. After a few days off to right my sleep pattern I'm back on days. My attempts to avoid the sun have come to an end. One of the new soldiers we got in is gonna be taking my place now that she's been trained up some. My 3+ months of experience are needed on a project that's about to start up. As much as I whined about being bored on nights, and God am I, it was a nice break and away to recharge a bit. No stress, no bosses, little work. I was able to put on whatever music I felt like and have my run of the office. I'm ready to go back and be productive again.

Well it's time to settle in and get ready for another day spent sleeping the sunshine away. As much as I enjoy the lack of stress nights brings it will be nice to once again be on a "normal" sleep schedule.

Buonanotte

All Things Come To An End

A historic moment just past and I think I should take a few moments to get on my own personal soap box and say a few things about it. Don't Ask, Don't Tell is no more. Good riddance.

 

We have a long way to go until heterosexual and homosexual service members have actual equality but this was the first and biggest step towards that. I am so glad that those who I serve with can now fully admit to who they are and who they love. It still will not be easy for any who choose to "come out" but at least it is now an option. An option I hope many seize on. It's a very long time coming.

 

I've served with two people who I knew were gay. One became a good friend and the other sat next to me every day in the office. One female, the other male. Never once did the fact that they were gay affect our work and personal relationships in the least bit. Both have since gotten out of the military which is a shame. They were hard workers who knew their jobs well. Maybe they would have gotten out anyway but I cannot imagine that the fact they had to hide who they were had a part in that decision.

 

This is an important and good day for the US military. I'm sure many who serve will not agree with that but over time that sentiment will go away either as they realize that there is no difference serving with a gay or straight person or they will not serve themselves. More than ever I'm proud to serve and very happy to know that today many others are proudly serving fully as themselves for the first time.

Good Mornings

Its dark right now. The moon is in decline but still casting a strong glow. Sharing the night sky with the moon are more stars than I have seen in months. Finally I am free of all the city lights.  In front of me I am listening as wave after wave endlessly laps up onto the sand.

Just before I left Turkey I discovered how beautiful it can be to watch sunsets. My apartment had a wonderful vantage point to watch as the sun would go slowly behind the mountains surrounding Ankara. I can still remember the sight and the feelings as I watched my final sunset in Turkey, the night before I left for Greece. It felt like a closing to a chapter of my life. The end to one part but also I had the outlook of that sunset leading to a new day and a new chapter.

I have found how beautiful watching the sun come up can be as well. More than once now I have set out on an early run in the dark and gotten to watch as the sky slowly grew lighter and lighter with the coming dawn. I always love watching as night turns into day.

As I mentioned before, I have been worried about finding ways to fit travel into my new sleep pattern. Ferrara is about an hour from the sea. A sea I haven't seen for three months, since I drove my car off the ferry. I've thought about this for a few days now and here I am, sitting on the beach watching the sun rise over the Adriatic Sea.

I got here a little while ago when there was only the faintest hint of morning. With every passing minute I've watched as the sky has turned from black to red and orange and now even a bit of the blue that will soon take over. Before the sea was only present in sound but now it is a sliver/slate surface gently rippling in front of me.

It is calm. I have come to love Ferrara late at night when everyone is asleep. Almost everyone. No matter the time someone is about and noises can be heard. Here, now, there is only me and the sea (and a gull that is swimming by). It is a break in life that I think I need. A small recharge to remember how beautiful life can be.

This moment won't last long. Already it is becoming less night and more day. A few minutes ago the sky was this incredible red but now it is more orange and yellow. Soon it will be nothing but blue. So now I am putting the iPad away to enjoy and appreciate as another day begins.

Sunrise Pictures